Finally Felt The Pain

I cried today
Finally felt the pain
That I’ve been feeling, for twenty years
The cause of the pain
It was unintentional
But its ignorance, that hurts more
You are not perfect
I wish I dared speak
Upon a deaf mind, words have no effect
At least it seems that way
It would rather blame me
For not overcoming, for giving in to worthlessness
I tore off the bandages
Thousands of them
And looked at the wound, touched it
I don’t want to go there
My voice choked
And my eyes, like wells of water overflowing
My friend looked at me
I care, you are safe here
The anger awoke, throwing off the mist of tears
My voice strengthened
Enraged, taking control
I have power, I am not worthless, I am me
My accomplishments
They are not yours to claim
I am successful, in spite of you, apart from you
My God gave them to me
He is better than you
Vengeance was my desire, it shall be now
But it has a new face
A new goal
I will conquer, and you will have no claim
I cried today
Finally felt the pain
Today was a good day, I will remember
Though I will slip
Though I may not get up
One day I will rise, and God will give me victory
Over you
Over myself
And when that day comes, I will smile at you
I will love you
And I will forgive you
In the meantime, I fight you each day
Every battle has a victor
But God is on my side
And my God, is always triumphant
I cried today
Finally felt the pain
God it hurts!
I know, son, I know. Look.
My chin rose, face like the delta of a river
I saw myself
Who I want to be
This is you, my son. Fight for him.
I will try.
Will you help me, Daddy?
Of course my son, of course I’ll help you.