my eyes open
my body seizes
my lungs gasp
the blanket covering me
now feels like a straight jacket
the pillow under my head
like a concrete brick
startled by a dream of my past
i sit up slowly, tormented
dazed, exhausted and weary
will i ever be free?
your hand rests in my lap
unaware of the anxiety
coarsing through my mind
the battle raging in my arteries
it is soft and open
unafraid and trusting
your sleeping smile
giving throughout the nights
is a comfort
reminds me of who i am now
by the grace and work of my Love
i reach for your hand
grasp it to my mouth
whisper “i need you”
your glorious hair uncovers your face
revealing your eyes open
concerned and caring
“what’s wrong”
water from my heart
washes your hands
wets your soft lips
you know my sin, my past
you embrace me courageously
“come back to me
you’re not that guy anymore”
our eyes kiss
“i remember him”
“so do i…but, i love you
He loves you”
you rest your head on my chest
as we rest our hearts again
“i know you love me
i know i am a treasure to you
and i know everyday you fight
to love God more, and me more
that’s all i have ever wanted
that’s why i feel safe with you
that’s why i belong to you”
your words, remind me
my dirty heart is now clean
the flash back of my sinful past
is overpowered, by a greater memory
a gift, from my Love
meeting you, loving you, marrying you
your forgiveness
when i shared my past
the tears, they continue
but they are tears of joy now
not of fear, shame
“thank you”
our eyes close
i feel your smile
your breath on my neck
rest is found in this bed tonight
thank you, God
You are powerful and fierce
beyond what we can resist
You are glorious and beautiful
beyond what we can bear or comprehend
You are forgiving and gracious
beyond what we can earn or deserve
You are worthy of praise
more than we can ever give
but nevertheless, we will try
we will give You all praise
we will not quit
we will shout it loud
more grandly than the shout of a rock
we will serve You for eternity
we will not quit
we will die for You
no matter the cost or method
we love You, God
more desperately each day
we are passionate for You, God
more intensely each day
glorify yourself, God
use us as You please
destroy us if necessary
Your will be done
we are sacrifices
You are King!
and we will fight for You
all the days of our lives
until Your kingdom is established
and then we will rest
with You, in all Your splendor
come quickly!
we earnestly pursue You
preparing the way
walking the narrow path
as best we can
come quickly, Lord Jesus!
thank You, for saving me
thank You, for forgiving me
thank You, for loving me
thank. You. God.
thank You.